She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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