Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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