I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
