Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
