ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
