The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just gargled with NyQuil
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
