Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
