in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You ruined the universe
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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