I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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