just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize