Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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