I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
