We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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