I didn't shave. On purpose
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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