Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
