dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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