She is in my trunk
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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