he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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