She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
