well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
