I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
