that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
