The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
