Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
