are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
