she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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