Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
