I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
