Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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