I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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