It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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