Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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