i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
