i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
