I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
