No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
