We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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