That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
