1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
