Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
