yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
