the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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