I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
