Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
