PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
