i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there was a trapeze. enough said
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
