I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
