white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
