quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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