I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
