Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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