I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize