i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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