meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize