Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
