I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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