i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
