i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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