I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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