uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
