bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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